By Annette Demeny

I think we would all agree that 2020 has been momentous, to say the least. But every year, people experience heartbreak, illness, loss, tragedies, and changes. One day you feel everything is running smoothly; the next day there’s mass chaos. One day you feel like you’re on the right path; the next day you feel totally derailed. One day you feel like you are a good person; the next day you feel like a failure. They’re all part of the human experience. Many things, we have no control over however, how we perceive them makes all of the difference in the outcome. Let me explain.


In Matthew 7:24-27, there were two men who each needed to build a house. One man decided to build his house on sandy soil. He liked that it is was easy to access, easy to dig the foundations and could finish it really quickly. The other man decided he wanted to build his house on a rocky hill. Even though it was harder to access, more difficult to dig the foundations and took months to complete. As time passed, a huge storm hit the area where both the men lived. The house built on the sandy foundation was swept away immediately while the other house remained solid.


What’s your foundation? When one disappointment happens, do you crumble? One storm and your house falls down? Or does your foundation rest on something solid and strong?


As a part of a strong foundation, we must have a positive perception of ourselves. First, we must understand that none of us are immune to disappointments and failures. Unfortunately, as a result of those disappointments, many of us slip into a vortex of a powerful emotion called self-loathing. We blame. We obsess. We co-depend. We judge. We attack. We drink. We do drugs. We control. We overeat. Because our brains and thoughts will be whatever we feed it, the only way to escape this vortex is to shift our thoughts from a place of fear to a place of love. If we think we are inadequate, broken creatures, then we will behave that way. If we think we are magnificent creatures of God and have boundless love to give, then we tend to behave that way.


Changing your self-perception can be difficult, especially if you’ve lived many years chained to negative thought patterns. Below are 9 tips that can help shift your self-perception.


  1. Forgive yourself. Seek forgiveness within and make a conscience decision to let go of the fearful thoughts of the past. “To forgive is merely to remember only the loving thoughts you gave in the past, and those that were given you. All the rest must be forgotten.”
  2. Surrender. Don’t just give God part of your worries and struggles. Truly release them to Him.
  3. Begin each day with prayer and meditation – not technology. The first instinct for many of us in the morning is to grab our phones and scroll through social media. I know that in a tech fanatic world, this is something we all will have difficulties changing. But challenge yourself. Don’t look at your phone until after you spend some time in quite prayer or meditation.
  4. Take time to journal. Take a minute or two to write down a few goals for the day or things you are grateful for. I try to do this after meditating but you can certainly aim to do it anytime.
  5. Affirmations. To create a positive mind, you must feed it positive thoughts. Write down affirmations or mantras on a sticky note and put on your bathroom mirror. Say them out loud. “I am worthy”, “I am beautiful”, “I am strong”, “I am kind”.
  6. Try something new. Learn a new skill, experience a new place, step outside your comfort zone. This builds self-confidence.
  7. Be patient with yourself. Shifting from fear to love can be difficult but trust your intentions. When we choose to love, our minds will begin to accept that life can be peaceful.
  8. Stretch or practice yoga. The simple act of taking a few minutes daily to stretch your body or practice yoga, really relaxes the mind. Again, shifting perception is shifting the mind to a state of calmness and kindness.
  9. Create new patterns of love. Be of service to someone else. We’re on this earth to serve God, which means that we’re on this earth to love others.

Having poor perception of ourselves keeps us from moving forward in God’s calling on our life.  Nourish that valuable relationship with yourself.



A Return to Love, Marianne Williamson


SFY Recommends

A Return to Love, Marianne Williamson

A Course in Miracles, Helen Schucman



What ONE thing are you going to try today to grow your positive self-perception? 




2 replies on “Self-Perception”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *